Posted by Ronald
Well, we hoped it wouldn’t come to this.
You will recall our ongoing exploration of marketing possibilities for the blog. Last Thursday we wrote this open letter to the companies of the world, offering our services for product placement and spokesmen.
We gave the companies of the world 48 hours to respond. How many did?
Nary a one.
So, Gary and I composed this follow-up letter to let everyone know where we stand. (Gary wrote most of it, and I signed off on it):
To Most Of The Companies Of The World Who Make Things:
Boy, you REALLY missed the boat on this one.
No, you know what? We would even say we are better at your jobs than you are yourselves.
A mere two days ago we posted a letter on our blog that said we are available to the company of the highest bidder. Available for what, you ask? (Because we are assuming you did not even read the letter). For us to be the spokesmen for your product, whatever that may be.
We gave you two (2) days to respond to this letter. You did not.
You have nobody to blame but the person or persons in the mirror.
And now we have decided to go forward with our plan without you. Following this letter, you will see several advertisements we made using our own initiative. You will see what companies we decided to work for, based on the products that are in the advertisements. Maybe you will be one of the lucky ones. But probably not.
You did this. Not Us. You.
There is nothing left to say. You better hope your bosses do not see this letter, because you will probably get fired.
Maybe then, if you are lucky, President Obama will create a job for you.
Signed,
Garold Frucci and Ronald DeLap
PS: Note: if you are one of the lucky companies we selected to be spokesmen for, we will contact you with an invoice for services rendered. Please be prompt in payment.
Everybody generates waste. Why not place yours into one of these bags, like Gary and Ronald would nine times out of ten?
Vinegar and ketchup, just two of our 57 products. Gary and Ronald own bottles of them. Why don’t you? There’s probably something defective about you, is why.
If you are lucky, you will also have someone pour this refreshing beverage into your mouth, like Gary does Ronald.
Eat up. Gary and Ronald can and do.
Posted at 10:32pm EST
How do you invoice grapes? Are there grape people?
